Hopelessly Depressed

2004-12-08T22:35:00.000-08:00

hahax..seems like everytime i come to blog it is when i am depressed...nvm...just blog lorhx since i so free..hahax seems like nobody seems to care abt me at all...nowadays my parents dun care abt me liaox..then the people i care for dun seem to care abt me.....the people hu appears to care for me actually dun care at all...haix....feel so alone in this world.....it seems like everyone is so ungrateful whenever i help to do soemthing... forget it...thts the way i am anyway......people will like ya people will not like ya....hahax so see lorhx...maybe i m not so lucky..even the people closest to me dun really like me ...i presume......hahax listening to love songs to drown my sorrows...dunnoe why, i haf been thinking of tht person for a few mths, i cannot get that person out of my head at all..it is really difficult....hahax just watch that person from a distance lorhx....if that person is happy i am happy also lorhx..thats all i wish for..nothing else......probably just find happiness from myself since happiness does not come my way... hahax dun feel like writing anymore...seems like i am tired of everythg.....hahax let me drown in my sorrows bahx

Broken Glass

2004-11-24T07:27:00.000-08:00

Watching in slow motion
In a foolish lover's game
On this endless ocean
a glass comes to shade
A poisonous one
A venomous one
Who would dare to touch it
The heart was true
It propelled
It took
A curious little smile
A miraculous one
Never knew when it would end
Afraid
Secrets
With tender care
A loving hand
But under a watchful little eye
A scary one at that
It broke
Time capsule
U never noe

2004-11-09T02:03:00.000-08:00

Nothing much to say... Just god damn pissed off todae

Dilemma, Depressed

2004-10-23T09:40:00.000-07:00

Today confused about a lot of things: Romance, Studies, Duties

Haix, romance, secret. Studies, i really dunnoe. My parents wanna me take pure science that means must take biology as well but biology must take history or geog + social studies. Then peiling and most of my frens tell me take lit .... then i ganna influenced... why nobody call me take history. then bio dun haf combined with lit then i like lit a lot... but i also like hist and geog a lot.... then very confused... dunnoe which combination to choose...haix... Then toking to alfone on the phone then his mum say it is every parent's wish for their kids to be able to take pure science haix, and my parents wanna me take pure science then his mum also say bio cannot with lit cos a lot of thgs to memorize but then i also memorize type one wad... then was still thinking whether can apply for lit+ bio but surely cannot one... i also not so special.....haix..haix...haix..then alfone also very depressed abt certain stuff ... then i also became depressed ..........

Duties wise, yesterday peiling toked to me about my asst librarian post then she was telling me that i haf to take initiative to do thgs but then i was also thinking if i always do then the librarians might not be happy..... then i brought the whole stack of originals home to photostat then came abt 10 mins late for band the peiling say mr goh mr fong sze bin and shumin very angry with me.....then she toked to me abt all my duties and stuff....haix felt that i did not do my job well at all... then after that shumin cos she chief librarian aprt from asst band major, she toked to all the librarians then could tell that she was very upset and she was aying that we were very inefficient and that we haf not done our job well .. then she was blaming herselffor not hafing thaught us well...then felt very bad ..like let her down...... so felt even more depressed....

then still same thg abt 55, never go to sch for 3 days liaox then dun come for band , exams never do well, then also beginning to like everythg dun care..... dunnoe wad to say lahx.....i give up liaox.....

then today with peiling, sze bin, stephanie, si min, kailin, juchi, we go mustafa go buy gifts for the buddies and the family for the new zealand trip then only bought some cos dunnoe how much to buy,.... must ask ms ngiam on monday..hopefully she noes by then......noe she also very stressed..organizin for is then also must do all the work as a teacher...wahx she superwoman sia....really respect her..... then after buying go back to westmall lorhx..... wahx take bus the time forgot that i dun haf bus pass...ganna confiscated cos forgot to bring tie then forgot to do detention also...i think i very blur lehx... then after that go with peiling westmall go see see lorhx then go find dove shampoo small bottle one to bring to new zealand then also dun haf haix ...... then find bottles to store also dun haf... westmall like very little thgs like that.... then buy zipblog bag for mathangi and jia xin lorhx then go home , eat dinner, watch tv , then blogging now lorhx.....

okies lahx, end here.. go back to listening to trademark-only love liaox...very romantic song .....anyway forgot to say that i luv romantic songs a lot.....

2004-10-11T07:19:00.000-07:00

Haix..Yijun call me create new post.so i create new post for this xiao mei mei lorh. Haha no offence! if u r reading^^. So, hmmm haha feels so good that exams haf finally ended.wah siah it feels like heaven, as if i haf started living man....haha before that,hai, stupid nerd.... haha so hmm time for a change. so, try to blog everyday from now onwards. but see got time a not, maybe enjoyinh thats why never come lorh.... time passes by so quickly,suddenly it is the end of exams.... even though all of us are happy, but i can't help but feel sad on thinking that 2e1 is going to be separAted liao next yr...haix..i dunnoe who i am going to be put with in the same class...pray to god is not the people i expect...cross my fingers a million times! pls god pls god! anyway dun think i did well for the exams.... this yr exams somethg in common is that all testing out working spd all wanna us work faster n more efficiently.thats why many of my classmates could not finish the paper.....thank god i could finish all of them ^^ but haix sure will not do well one..intuition tells me so and it is always right i think...

One morethg which is on my mind is 55. i dunnoe i haf broken my frenship with 55 .people tell me that i shld not haf. cos it is 8 yrs frenship. but i really think that i haf made the right decision.even though definitely i haf regrets but i am sure i haf done the right thing. cos it takes two hands to clap when only one is putting an effort to continue than frenship and he is feeling so sick and tired of it, then i feel it is no longer a frenship, so i think when that happens, that is definitely the only resolution to make the frenship worse...i haf been hearing thgs recently and i dunnoe if it is true and it hurts me so..... haix stop writing here

Depressed

hihix

2004-10-09T06:39:00.000-07:00

halo. yijun here. heeheex. jux help huilian created blog. now help yibiao. sobs. so busi. lolx. nvm. look at his blog. its so...omg!!! lolx. jk lar. nvm. mux blog regularly wor. okaex. buaix!